Lady Lazarus
by kairitheseventhprincessofheart
Summary: What if Kaname Kuran had been born a woman? What would have changed and what would have stayed the same? / little changeling girl with cold, cold eyes and blood on your hands- you've built your throne on the bones of your victims.
1. Chapter 1

**Author's note: Spoilers ahead for the manga.**

**Hello, everyone. I wanted to write about an alternate universe where Kaname was born a cis woman, and what would have changed based on that. It will most likely take the form of interconnected drabbles, not necessarily in chronological order. I hope you find it enjoyable.**

**I own absolutely nothing. The manga belongs to Matsuri Hino. The title is taken from a poem of Slyvia Plath's by the same name. It's actually about a woman who tries to commit suicide and whose life is saved, but I thought the phrase was fitting for Kaname's "resurrection" from the coffin. Some situations or quotes may be taken directly from the manga, because some things simply aren't affected by Kaname's gender change. Please let me know if you would like me to highlight those quotes in bold.**

**Warnings for homophobia, internalized homophobia and biphobia, sexism and misogyny, and brief depictions of past rape and forced pregnancy, along with the general Vampire Knight warnings: blood, violence, incest, character death, suicide, etc.**

**While it's not the focus of the story, this fic does deal with somewhat more serious subject material than I've written before. If I write something offensive, please let me know, and if you have any input, I would love to hear that as well.**

Contrary to popular belief, Juuri and Haruka did not have a daughter.

That is to say, their firstborn child was a boy. The two of them had lived a long time before deciding to have children, and they were delighted when young Kaname Kuran was born. They immediately adored him, as most parents do, and every protective instinct they possessed protested when Rido walked off with him.

They were right to be worried.

When Haruka at last caught up with his brother and newborn son, he was devastated to find his only child already dead, a victim of Rido's scheme to awaken the Ancestress. He bowed his head in grief, mourning his loss, but a slight noise caught his attention. Dropping the bloodstained clothes, Haruka slowly approached the form lying quietly on the floor; it was a baby.

A little girl.

She was staring at him with solemn eyes, completely trusting in the way that only children can be. Realizing who this was and that she had left herself at his mercy, he did the only thing he could, and took the Kuran ancestress home to his wife.

Juuri was heartbroken at young Kaname's death, but the two of them made the decision to raise the baby as their own. It was soon enough after their son's birth that they had not yet released an official statement about it, and so when it was declared that Haruka and Juuri Kuran had at last been blessed with a child, they told the world of their daughter, Kanae Kuran.

Young Kanae grew up happy and loved, if a bit serious, and her parents looked on her as if she were their flesh and blood.

When Kanae was three, they decided to try for another child. This one was a girl, and she was their secret princess called Yuuki, hid from the rest of the world and the threat of their brother. After the fate of their firstborn, could anyone blame them?

Perhaps there exists a world where Kanae was born a man, and he shared Kaname's name; perhaps there is a world where Kaname never died at all and he truly was Yuuki's blood brother. But those are only maybes, and who is to say whether that would have been for the worse or for the better?

**Author's note: Please let me know what you think. The following chapters will be longer and not in this weird narrative voice. It's only like that because it's the prologue.**


	2. Chapter 2

It was her second birthday and Mother was weeping.

Kanae stood in the hallway, clutching her nightgown with small hands as she listened to the muffled sobs. Why was Mother crying? She didn't like it when Mother and Father were sad. Didn't they have fun today?

She debated with herself on whether to enter her parents' room, unsure if it might be her fault Mother was crying. She knew Mother and Father didn't like for her to see them get upset, though. Maybe Mother hurt herself? But she didn't smell any blood…

The little girl made up her mind to give her mother a hug and see what was the matter, but as she took her first step forward, her mind filled with dread, rushing through her body and paralyzing her limbs. Kanae gasped and clutched at her head as she heard a woman's voice speak inside her mind. **Turn away. Not yet.**

The voice sounded fairly young, but at the same time, it was old and terrible and fierce, though it spoke softly.

**This is not yet for you to know. Go back.**

"Kaname!" Juuri wailed softly.

Heart pounding, Kanae stumbled away.

By the time her next birthday came, Juuri's belly was round and a room was being prepared for Kanae's new brother or sister. Everyone smiled at Kanae, and, though she lay awake and listened the whole night, she didn't hear her mother cry like the previous year.

That was good. She definitely didn't want Mother to be sad.

But she thought uneasily of the word Juuri had uttered, "Kaname", and the woman who had spoken inside her head, and dread churned in her stomach once more.

It was a quiet night in the Kuran manor, and the grounds outside were picturesque, the fresh snow covering them sparkling and gleaming in the light of the newly risen sun. However, it had been some time since Kanae or her parents had seen such a sight. Haruka and Juuri were currently residing in one of the lower rooms of the mansion, where the sun did not reach even when the humans were awake; they had moved down there for the latter part of Juuri's pregnancy when she'd begun to show.

The baby was blessedly quiet; she seemed to be taking after Kanae in her lack of wailing. Instead, the little girl peered curiously at the people around her, looking content and, even objectively, quite cute. Three-year-old Kanae, solemn and big-eyed, approached the newborn child. "This is my little sister?" she asked quietly.

"Yup!" Juuri said cheerfully, she and Haruka both smiling at their older daughter. "You're an onee-chan now."

Kanae felt something inside her clench as she looked into the baby's eyes. _Ah… I've seen these eyes somewhere before. This kind warmth… I promise, I'll protect you, little Yuuki._

She reached out and tenderly took her tiny sister into her arms.

Though Kanae was, in general, quite content to be left to her own devices, especially if Yuuki was around, her parents worried about her not getting enough proper social interaction with other kids her age. As a result of this, Haruka and Juuri often took her to play with other children. Sometimes they stayed themselves; more often they dropped her off along with several bodyguards to lurk nearby as protection, for it was extremely dangerous for a young pureblood to go anywhere alone.

Takuma Ichijo was a popular choice due to his sunny personality, but more often, Kanae ended up with the nearest noble girl, Ruka.

The Souens, of course, were greatly honored, and cautioned their daughter to be respectful of the pureblood who would be coming to visit her. They were prepared to wait on the Kuran child if necessary, and made sure Ruka wouldn't balk at being bossed around: both of which would have been perfectly acceptable behavior for a level A vampire. However, little Kanae was an angel compared to their expectations. She was unfailingly polite, and she and Ruka took turns deciding what to play. She may have been a bit quiet and reserved, but her smiles were sweet and genuine, and she delighted in sharing her things with Ruka. When her parents arrived to pick her up, they sometimes found that she and her friend had swapped clothes. "Ruka thought my dress was pretty, Mother, so I gave it to her," Kanae would say.

Naturally, since Kanae was around often enough, she was bound to run into Hanabusa Aido and Akatsuki Kain at some point. Their families were close to the Souens, after all, and the three children often played together. When Kanae first arrived to find the two of them already there, she paused for a moment in surprise before speaking. "Good morning… Hello, Ruka. I'll greet you properly in a minute, but… Hanabusa, may I speak with you?"

They'd met before when Kanae had been visiting his house, and he'd turned down her offer of friendship. He didn't want to speak to her, but Ruka and Akatsuki were watching, and Ruka was the Kuran girl's friend… He reluctantly stepped aside. "Can you be quick? I'm busy." Knowing that he was supposed to be polite to this perfect girl just made him ruder in defiance. Still, wasn't she supposed to be something like a vampire princess? Maybe he was about to get in trouble…

She didn't look like she was about to scold him, though. Her eyes were downcast and her tone soft. "I… did something to make you angry. I wanted to apologize, so I was going to ask for permission to come see you again. I'm glad that you're here today, so I can tell you now instead."

_Is she stupid? She didn't do anything wrong._

Hanabusa's eyes darted to the man standing nearby, watching them, and Kanae's eyes followed his gaze. "Oh, you don't need to worry about him," she said, trying to put him at ease. "You can speak freely." Then she chanced a small smile.

_A bodyguard- no, a watchdog._

_Even though everyone is terrified of her, they still expect a lot from her. But she cares for others much more than I do…_

He looked at that tentative smile, at those kind, intelligent eyes.

"You don't need to apologize. I just hate you, that's all."

Kanae did not stay much longer that day. She made her excuses and left as soon as possible. Ruka, who quickly figured out that Hanabusa had upset her friend, berated him quite fiercely.

Still, after that day, Kanae avoided Hanabusa Aido very carefully. She took great pains not to come see Ruka when the other children were there, and it was several years before they met again, after her parents died and her world had been rearranged.


End file.
